Because they are already taking their time. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Reply. Feel my shirt. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Not. 92. (perfect for vegans). If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Don't Push It Too Far. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. I plead the fifth. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Best "How Are You?" Answers. . What to say when your crush asks how you are? But it can be funny. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Going strong. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Cookie Notice Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. 98. 50. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Thank you, it made my day. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are 12. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. This does not seem right. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. I dont think youre stupid. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. 91. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. 87. A little bit worse now that youve asked. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. 45. It could always have been worse. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 1. Its too small to be out there all alone. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. 5. What do you say when people ask you that? Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Thats because my crush is a fictional character. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Not Bad. How do you think that I am doing? So much better than most people. I suggest you do a little soul searching. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. The best I can be. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Stop asking me why Im single! Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Most of the time, that is not true. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. 2. Congratulations, sir. Finnish with this conversation! But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. I am not sure what you mean. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. 15. Because they are already taking their time. This one is funny when you havent said anything. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Sorry, life. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Is your family tree a cactus? If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. My bad, its just your mouth. 68. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Required fields are marked *. 1. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. More like give me a sign that. I'm alive! Ah, sarcasm. 73. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. 8. 15. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. You may join me, though. Happy, and I know it. No, waitIm actually plural. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. But Ive also had better. Well, are you? Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Spiritually? How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. I cant even afford to feed myself! If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Your email address will not be published. I repeat I am plural! Checklists & Reminders! Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. Hello, how are you? Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. 1. Mentally? Nowadays, potential mates need money. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. 5. Everyone has a different sense of humor. You were a young man when you last spoke. We cant always get what we want now, can we? 13. . Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! 55. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Youll go far someday. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." How Am I Still Alive. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. 53. You a cop? Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Dont wake me up yet. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . I havent met the right one yet. I'm used to it, anyway. Why do you ask? Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Maybe their roommate was sick. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? This is a good response to throw out there. 19. 37. This one is good. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. funny response to are you still alive. Because your ass is out of this world! Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. Being single is much better than being married. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. "Still alive" is polite. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Socioeconomically? I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. No, keep talking. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Physically? In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. Because youre highly qualified. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Youre a ground-hugger. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Opposites attract, right? Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I always root for the little guy. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Youre free to go. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Take Your Time. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Don Draper? 59. Hi! Still, the ghosters ghost on. At minding my own business? 1. . Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". I think I am doing alright. 81. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. 1. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Your email address will not be published. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Scroll down! I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. How impressive! When they play it cool, play it ice cold. 96. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? It's Okay. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! What should I doI like you too much. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. I agree, thanks for sharing. I dont know. I'm wondering how you are. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Some people spend all their time on their phone. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Its going great, really! Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. 27. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types "I'm alright, mate". 15. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. 3. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. . But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. I only fall in love with anime characters. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Unlikely, but worth a shot. 94. You look tired. Call the police." 13 Quora User When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Siri, why am I still single? You might just find one. 95. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 18. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Reply. My guardian angel be like 2. It's best part of the whole movie. Everything is always better on payday right!? It must have been a long, lonely journey. Holy s**t, you can see me?! (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. via: Pexels / George Pak. So, you changed your mind? 18. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 2. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. 75. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Impressive! 1. 14. 39. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. 17. Read more about Martin here. Life is up to something. Still with us. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Just Smile And Nod Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Funny as phuck. 4. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. 38. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. 77. Do you want the short or the detailed version? Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. 5. I just adore my own company. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? There is plenty of room. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Im sorry. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Not bad. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Not sure why you're asking me my age. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. How do you usually respond to the question? Have you been thinking? If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Is everything stable at your end? 82. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. "You know I can do this anytime.". I hope you are at your best too. "Alright. I was doing great, before you came. But half the time, it is a nightmare. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. 62. 4. Pick your struggle. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty.